My heart is heavy
Thoughts running crazy
My vision is blurred
This is so absurd
My hearts been closed for so many years
Trying to prevent the flow of tears
I try to get a few inside
But it made me realize why I hide
It seems like everyone is full of shade
Only wanting to get laid
Making friends and building connections
Falling second to popping erections
Social anxiety and rampant depression
Story of my life and obsession
Put yourself out there if you feel lonely
They don’t know how crippling it can be
I fear reliving rejection and pain
Having my heart broke was insane
There’s no guarantee it won’t happen again
Sometimes I wish this life would end.
Hey, this is an old post I just discovered. First, I want to get confirmation you are still with us. Your message was alarming, it has me thinking negative thoughts on what course of action you may have taken, especially due to the fact there are no comments from anyone which again has me thinking if this may have been the final push to what you were obviously thinking of doing. Please let me know of your current standing and if your situation has improved at all.
Also, this is not the best place for reaching out for help and guidance. So, if you see this, please send me a follow up and if needed, we can brainstorm from there. I will bookmark and check in here every one or two days for a month or so for any replies from you, hang in there.
I also lived through being not important anymore after 32 years which ripped the soul right out of my body, I am a different person now. Weather better or worse is up for debate, I still feel I wander aimlessly and blindly through existence just for the sake of existing. I have only very recently started to give a dam and am slowly formulating some sort of plan be it not to clearly defined yet.
Looking forward to your reply SouthpawSteven, until then take care.
Thanks for taking time to reach out and comment. A lot of my writings stem from personal experiences in life to process emotions. Things are considerably better than a few years ago and I have multiple outlets to discuss any issues or circumstances that arise. I know what you mean about just existing, but I have pretty much navigated through that. Now I just do my own thing since I still don’t have much trust in people. It’s not the most fun thing in the world, but growth is a continuous process I guess. 🙂 I hope you have good luck on your journey as well!